Motivation, Where Are You?!

So, I know I haven't done a post since doing The Ultimate Reset. I actually didn't even finish the Reset. I did good on it for about a week and a half, lost 10 pounds then I got really sick a few times, and ended up stopping it. I'm not even sure what actually made me sick. Ever since then I have not been able to follow through with anything! I have absolutely no motivation, and no oomph.

 

I mean I am going on a cruise next March, and I want to feel the best I ever have and comfortable in my skin. I think about it all the time, but that doesn't even seem to motivate me anymore.

Every part of who I am and who I want to be stems from losing weight and being the best version of myself. I want to make health and fitness a full time job, I want to inspire people and I want people to know if I can do it so can they! I want to be healthy when I have kids so I can raise my kids that way. Also, when I find "Mr. Wonderful" I hope that he will be just as interested in his health and fitness as well. How can I want and do all of this, without doing it for myself first?

 

I did come to realization that my problem is definitely my nutrition. It seems like I can't control what goes in my mouth no matter how hard I try. I know that I eat out of boredom, but I think I need to really evaluate myself and figure out what got me to this point so I can fix it. Why can't I turn away from the temptation? I know it's yummy food, but come on I should be able to have a little control! I can exercise for days, but when it comes to nutrition, I just can't do it. I think that I am going to take some time and just focus on the eating clean. I plan on completely scheduling every little thing I put in my mouth, and doing food preps a couple times a week.

I keep wondering if subconsciously I am telling myself that I can't actually do this. That I can't be successful, and I will never achieve my goals. I know that's not true, but I honestly think that might be part of my problem.
 

 

As I said, when it comes to working out I can do that. I did Focus T25 for a while, then I went on a trip and got off track again. I need to seriously get back to it. I love this workout! Who doesn't have 25 minutes a day, 5 days a week? Errbody's got time for that!!

I feel like this is just a tumble effect. If I don't eat well, I feel sluggish, and then I don't want to workout. I talked to a friend of mine and she told me that it's all in baby steps and to not overwhelm myself. This doesn't happen overnight. I am such an all or nothing person and it's hard for me to just work on one thing at a time, but I think this is what I need to be successful.



 

I need to do something again though. I always say that I am trying to live life to the fullest, but I am not. I don't want to do anything. I have no confidence, no self esteem, no desire. I need to figure this out before I look back on my life and regret not doing all the things I wanted too. I will get myself on track, I will start loving myself, I will start living my life again. I am not going to be this girl, I refuse to be her. I want a change. I need a change.

 

 

I did this blog to share every aspect of my journey and my life. Not only the good stuff, but the bad stuff as well. The hard times. The times when you and I need the most support. I will be starting off small, and working to the bigger picture. I am ready to start the rest of my life.